Colonial Charm Meets Modern Confusion: Why Is This 109 River Road Home Still For Sale?
Unionville, CT – Step right up, folks, because this 1750-built antique colonial at 109 River Road practically dares you to resist its quirky charm—and, oh, it has charm in spades. Priced at an eye-popping $349,000, this historic two-bedroom, two-bathroom “gem” offers 1,267 square feet of living space on a generous 0.33-acre lot. But let’s be honest: if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to live in a time machine with oil heat, a septic tank, and a brook, look no further.
Let’s not gloss over the fact that this home was originally built when the United States was just an idea. We’re talking 1750, back when kings were in fashion and electricity was… well, wait a couple hundred years. Yet, here we are, in 2024, and somehow, this structure has clipped to life, even adding a new electrical system in the garage to ensure your DIY projects can spark joy—quite literally.
A Price History as Twisted as the River Nearby
Ah, price history—our favorite roller coaster ride through real estate decisions past. In a move that proves that everything old becomes new again, this property was last purchased in 2020 for a mere $154,000. Yes, that’s right: someone bought this house for less than what a decent mid-sized SUV costs these days, and now they want $349,000. That’s a remarkable 126.6% increase, making this colonial as much an investment in inflation as it is in nostalgia.
But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s recall 2017, when this house languished on the market at $124,000 and dropped to a bargain basement $119,900—back when they practically begged someone, anyone, to take it off their hands. Fast-forward to 2024, where the Zestimate® is so bashful that it refuses to make eye contact.
Taxes: Because This Colonial Won’t Pay for Itself
Speaking of financial joyrides, the taxes on this property come in at a quaint $3,918 annually, a modest 0.6% increase from last year. Let’s call it the price you pay for occupying land that’s been occupied for over 270 years. The assessed value stands at $153,930, but if you do the math, that’s just the number you’re taxed on—not the one that’s keeping you up at night.
For those wondering, yes, the taxes have risen steadily, like a slow-brewing storm. It was only in 2001 when the taxes were a cozy $2,216, but alas, those days are long gone, much like any sense of fiscal restraint in Unionville.
Interior: A Step Back in Time, But With Dual Sinks
Once you step inside, you’re immediately greeted by that unmistakable colonial flavor. The primary bathroom, with its double sinks, brass sconces, and wood-framed mirrors, suggests this home takes your need for bathroom real estate seriously. (Because what’s better than one sink? Two sinks to awkwardly share with someone else, of course.) The beige walls provide a calming atmosphere, perfect for contemplating the fact that this home predates indoor plumbing by over a century.
The living room, with its beamed ceilings and hardwood floors, is a true throwback to 1750. It’s almost like stepping onto the set of a history documentary—minus the stuffy actors in powdered wigs. But don’t let the authentic wooden beams fool you—while they might look charming, they come with their own set of “don’t bump your head” warnings. Of course, the cozy wood-burning stove rounds out the ambiance, practically begging you to curl up with a quill and parchment to pen a letter.
Meanwhile, the kitchen offers all the essentials: plenty of cabinet space, tiled floors, and a modern touch with new appliances. Let’s just say it’s an upgrade from whatever they were cooking on in 1750.
Exterior: That Sunshiny Façade You Can’t Miss
From the outside, this colonial doesn’t whisper “historic” so much as it shouts it—thanks to its bright yellow siding. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to own a house that people will remember simply because of its color, this is the one for you. The stone patio, freshly laid out, looks like it’s ready for outdoor tea parties, albeit the kind where you can enjoy the view of the road mere feet away.
A lovely stone wall surrounds the front of the property, giving it that fortified feeling—probably useful back in the day for keeping out British troops, and now perhaps for deterring overly curious neighbors. Two red chairs, cheerily placed outside, seem to invite you to sit, relax, and watch the occasional car go by.
A Lot of Parking: Four Spaces of Possibility
On the practical side, parking is no issue here. With four parking spaces and a detached garage, you’ll never have to worry about where to store your time-traveling carriage—or modern-day SUV.
Unionville Schools: Where History Meets Education
In case the prospect of living in a centuries-old home hasn’t entirely sold you, the Unionville/Farmington school district should seal the deal. With Farmington High School ranking in the top 10 in Connecticut, you can rest easy knowing that while your home is from the 1700s, your children’s education won’t be.
Graciously Sponsored by Farmington Storage
Before you run off to schedule your private tour of 109 River Road, let’s not forget to thank our sponsor, Farmington Storage. Located conveniently at 155 Scott Swamp Road, they’ll happily store your colonial treasures—or even a few modern amenities. Give them a call at 860.777.4001 and tell them the good folks from The Farmington Mercury sent you.
So, if you’re looking to drop $349,000 on a slice of history—and $2,372 a month to call it home—schedule that tour. Just don’t blame us if the house is older than your mortgage broker’s ancestors
-JB-
Jack Beckett
Jack Beckett is the kind of guy who thinks “antique” means anything older than his coffee. When he’s not deciphering historic property listings, you can find him dodging bees at local Unionville gardens or grilling his neighbors for zoning law hot takes. Contact him at The Farmington Mercury, or catch him reminiscing about “the good old days” of 2020.
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