🚨 Headline News! Farmington DUI Arrest Unfolds in Classic Small-Town Fashion
FARMINGTON, CT (The Farmington Mercury) — Bringing you local news one expired registration at a time. Proudly sponsored by Farmington Storage, where your memories (and Ryan’s car title) are kept in museum-quality air.
On November 2, 2024, at the thrilling, witching-hour minute of 12:46 AM, Farmington Police made a daring arrest on Farmington Avenue. Ryan A. DiFusco, age 37, hailing from the distant metropolis of Hartford, was taken into custody. The charges? A triad of suburban missteps:
- Failure to Renew Registration: Bond amount? $0. That’s right. A charge as serious as your grandma’s expired Blockbuster card.
- Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol/Drugs: Now we’re getting somewhere. DiFusco posted a $2,500 non-surety bond, hopefully without driving himself to the courthouse.
- Drinking While Driving: Because if you’re going to make bad choices, why not multitask?
Mark your calendars, folks! November 13, 2024, is a day we’ll all be completely forgetting unless you’re Ryan or, you know, his lawyer.
If you’re new to this, all suspects are considered innocent until proven guilty. We at The Farmington Mercury prefer slow news but report with zero grace and maximum side-eye.
Your Belongings Deserve Better: Farmington Storage Has Your Back!
Big shoutout to Farmington Storage at 155 Scott Swamp Road! Where else would your dusty family heirlooms get museum-quality air treatment? (We’ve been told it’s what your vinyl collection truly deserves.) Call them at 860.777.4001. Because unlike DiFusco’s registration, your possessions deserve to be kept current.
More Arrest Reports and Local Shenanigans:
- Ever wondered what your neighbor got ticketed for? Peruse our Law Enforcement section
- Want the low-down on Farmington’s upcoming elections? Dive into our 2024 election coverage
- Feeling wild? Explore our riveting zoning news
About the Author: Jack Beckett
Hey, I’m Jack Beckett, caffeine-fueled scribe of Farmington. When I’m not covering small-town arrests, I’m losing sleep over our hyper-local coverage of zoning disputes and election scandals. Find me at The Farmington Mercury or on X. Remember: “Always last… to breaking news.” ☕ Because slow news is better with coffee stains.
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