Breaking News—well, sort of! The Farmington Mercury brings you the latest in slow news from the weekend. Two arrests have rocked our serene community, occurring on January 4, 2025, at the same dramatic hotspot: 319 New Britain Avenue. Coincidence? Or has New Britain Avenue become Farmington’s Broadway for criminal escapades? Let’s dig in:
First up, Malik D. Brown:
This 40-year-old white female from Hartford was arrested at 1:46 PM for what we’re calling a “larceny triple-threat.” The charges include:
- Larceny in the 4th Degree (Connecticut’s most theatrical larceny, valued under $2,000).
- Illegal Possession of a Shoplifting Device (a gadget for mischief, clearly underrated in Hollywood scripts).
- Threatening 1st Degree to Terrorize with Hazardous Intent (because plain old threatening just wasn’t enough).
Pinero-Rodriguez posted her $50,000 surety bond like a champ, ensuring a quick curtain call before her January 14, 2025, court date. Bravo! 👏
Next in our lineup, Anthony C. Lustrinelli:
A 28-year-old male hailing from Los Angeles, Lustrinelli, was apprehended at 1:18 AM. This guy’s charges could double as a dystopian Netflix series:
- Criminal Attempt/Burglary in the 1st Degree (didn’t quite pull it off but A for effort).
- Conspiracy to Commit Burglary in the 1st Degree (plotting it isn’t good, apparently).
Unlike his counterpart, Lustrinelli stays behind bars, held on a staggering $500,000 bond. He could use the time to write a screenplay about it. His court appearance is set for January 6, 2025. Fingers crossed for some dramatic monologues!
As always, a gentle reminder: Everyone is innocent until proven guilty. Even if the charges sound like something out of a police procedural, the justice system is Farmington’s ultimate director.
And now, a word from our magnanimous sponsor, Farmington Storage—the only facility in Connecticut offering museum-grade air for your belongings. Yes, you read that correctly. Not only will your winter wardrobe breathe easier, but your vintage Beanie Babies will also feel like they’re on display at the Louvre. Stop by 155 Scott Swamp Road or call 860.777.4001. Check them out online here. Farmington Storage: because your clutter deserves luxury.
Want more of this gripping content? Dive into the depths of Farmington life:
- Catch up on local law enforcement here.
- Explore Farmington’s zoning drama here.
- Stay election-ready here.
Until next time, this has been Jack Beckett, fueled by caffeine and powered by The Farmington Mercury. From hyper-local gossip to zoning regulations that will knock your socks off, we’ve got it all at The Farmington Mercury. Oh, and don’t forget to follow us on X.
Jack Beckett, signing off—currently drinking coffee strong enough to power Farmington and still waiting for Farmington to break news. ☕#WeAreFarmington
