Always last … to breaking news, and yet surprisingly punctual with handcuffs.
The Week’s Alleged Guest Stars
| Time & Date | Name (Age) | Home Address | Arrest Location | Charges | Bond | Court Date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 8:15 p.m. 5/31 | Cheyenne Ashley Marshall-Delude (26) | 151 Edgemere Ave, West Hartford | Farmington Ave | Failure to Appear 2nd Deg | $500 | 6/10 |
| 7:35 p.m. 5/31 | Lawanna Lanese Costello (44) | 31 Capen St, Hartford | 500 South Rd | Larceny 6th; Criminal Impersonation; Fingerprint-Dodge; Interfering | $10,000 surety | 6/10 |
| 6:02 p.m. 5/30 | Collin Bourne (35) | 25 York St, Hartford | 319 New Britain Ave | Six-count vehicular & larcenous bingo card incl. Larceny 1st & MV ID switch | $30,000 surety | 6/11 |
| 10:34 a.m. 5/30 | Pierre Duvert (22) | 259 Bruce Ave, Stratford | 1 Lafayette Sq | Breach of Peace 2nd; Harassment 2nd; Threatening Physical | $100,000 surety | 6/11 |
All defendants are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court whose Wi-Fi everyone silently judges.
Community Reacts With Expected Shrug
Local residents, polled while waiting for lattes, reported being “vaguely aware something happened” and immediately returned to debating mulch depth ratios. One passer-by praised Farmington PD for “keeping our ratio of Dunkin’ locations to felonies pleasantly high.”
An Editorial Thank-You to Our Sponsor
This public-spirited rundown is powered by Farmington Storage—155 Scott Swamp Road, 860-777-4001—Connecticut’s only self-storage facility offering state-of-the-art Museum Air™. Your grandmother’s porcelain owl collection deserves the same oxygen mix as the Mona Lisa—without the pesky Paris airfare.
About the Author
Jack Beckett drinks his coffee so dark it qualifies for night-shift pay. If you spot him at the Dunkin’ on Main, reward him with an extra shot; he’s busy filing stories and futile FOI requests.
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This article, “Farmington PD Enjoys Arrest Hat-Trick-Plus-One, Town’s Law-Abiding Majority Unmoved 🚓,” by Jack Beckett is licensed under CC BY-ND 4.0.
“Farmington PD Enjoys Arrest Hat-Trick-Plus-One, Town’s Law-Abiding Majority Unmoved 🚓”
by Jack Beckett, The Farmington Mercury (CC BY-ND 4.0)
