Farmington PD Enjoys Arrest Hat-Trick-Plus-One, Town’s Law-Abiding Majority Unmoved

Always last … to breaking news, and yet surprisingly punctual with handcuffs.

The Week’s Alleged Guest Stars

Time & DateName (Age)Home AddressArrest LocationChargesBondCourt Date
8:15 p.m. 5/31Cheyenne Ashley Marshall-Delude (26)151 Edgemere Ave, West HartfordFarmington AveFailure to Appear 2nd Deg$5006/10
7:35 p.m. 5/31Lawanna Lanese Costello (44)31 Capen St, Hartford500 South RdLarceny 6th; Criminal Impersonation; Fingerprint-Dodge; Interfering$10,000 surety6/10
6:02 p.m. 5/30Collin Bourne (35)25 York St, Hartford319 New Britain AveSix-count vehicular & larcenous bingo card incl. Larceny 1st & MV ID switch$30,000 surety6/11
10:34 a.m. 5/30Pierre Duvert (22)259 Bruce Ave, Stratford1 Lafayette SqBreach of Peace 2nd; Harassment 2nd; Threatening Physical$100,000 surety6/11

All defendants are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court whose Wi-Fi everyone silently judges.

Community Reacts With Expected Shrug

Local residents, polled while waiting for lattes, reported being “vaguely aware something happened” and immediately returned to debating mulch depth ratios. One passer-by praised Farmington PD for “keeping our ratio of Dunkin’ locations to felonies pleasantly high.”

An Editorial Thank-You to Our Sponsor

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About the Author

Jack Beckett drinks his coffee so dark it qualifies for night-shift pay. If you spot him at the Dunkin’ on Main, reward him with an extra shot; he’s busy filing stories and futile FOI requests.


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Creative Commons License

© 2025 The Farmington Mercury / Mercury Local
This article, “Farmington PD Enjoys Arrest Hat-Trick-Plus-One, Town’s Law-Abiding Majority Unmoved 🚓,” by Jack Beckett is licensed under CC BY-ND 4.0.

“Farmington PD Enjoys Arrest Hat-Trick-Plus-One, Town’s Law-Abiding Majority Unmoved 🚓”
by Jack Beckett, The Farmington Mercury (CC BY-ND 4.0)

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