October 31, 2024: Farmington Arrest Chronicles – Trespassing, Larceny, and a Pre-Dawn Drama
Welcome, curious readers, to yet another thrilling installment of Farmington’s Finest moments, brought to you by The Farmington Mercury, where our dedication to slow news is unmatched, and our love for juicy, petty crimes is eternal.
Incident Breakdown: When Halloween Mischief Extends into the Morning
- Suspect: Damian Tray Bullock, Hartford, CT
- Date of Incident: October 31, 2024, at 6:35 AM (because nothing says post-Halloween blues like an early morning arrest)
- Where It Happened: 319 New Britain Ave, Unionville
- Arresting Officer: Officer Aparo, who indeed had an exciting start to his day
Our 36-year-old subject of interest, Damian Tray Bullock, got himself booked for a few classic, small-town offenses that make for excellent reading material. His charge sheet includes:
- Criminal Trespass in the 1st Degree: Sometimes curiosity doesn’t just kill the cat; it also lands a human a $500 surety bond. Pro tip: Make sure you have permission to be wherever you are.
- Larceny in the 6th Degree: The level where you’re not pulling off a Great Train Robbery but still in hot water. Another $500 surety bond was tacked on for this, bringing his total to a whopping $1,000.
Mr. Bullock’s day in court is set for November 6, 2024, where we’re sure things will get… mildly interesting. And you can trust The Farmington Mercury to report on it with the same glacial speed you’ve come to know and tolerate.
The Obligatory (and Funny) Disclaimer
Here’s your legally mandated reminder that everyone is innocent until proven guilty, even if the arrest logs suggest otherwise. If you happen to be Mr. Bullock, or anyone else featured in our gripping police drama, and you’d like to share your side of the story, we’d love to hear it. Drop us a line at general@thefarmingtonmercury.com. Who doesn’t enjoy a tale of misunderstood intentions?
A Heartfelt Thanks to Farmington Storage (and Their Museum-Grade Air)
Our sincere gratitude goes to Farmington Storage, where your belongings enjoy the kind of air quality normally reserved for priceless artifacts. Located at 155 Scott Swamp Road, and available by phone at 860.777.4001, they are the go-to for all your storage needs. Protect your vintage comic book collection or Aunt Mabel’s heirloom quilt with air so crisp, the Louvre would be jealous. You’re welcome.
Stay Tuned for More Farmington Shenanigans
For the latest in Farmington High School updates click here, comprehensive Election 2024 coverage right here, and our favorite topic, zoning debates, we’ve got it all. Need us on social media? Of course, we’re on X, because why not?
Jack Beckett’s Signature Send-Off
This has been Jack Beckett, your ever-committed, caffeine-fueled purveyor of slow but savory news. I may drink enough coffee to keep the town running, but I’m always here to keep you entertained. Dive deep into our world of Farmington slow journalism at We Are Farmington, where you’ll find everything from historic district commission deliberations to available job positions in our vibrant community.
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Until next time, may your coffee be strong, and your news be as fresh as museum-quality air!
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