Three Arrests, Two Officers, and One Headlamp Short: A Night in Farmingtonâs Criminal Underbelly
By Jack Beckett | The Farmington Mercury
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Farmington, CT â The quiet charm of Talcott Forest was briefly interrupted just past midnight on March 21, when local authorities reminded a 19-year-old resident that “no headlamps” is not the bold aesthetic choice he mightâve thought.
According to arrest records from the Farmington Police Department (run time: 06:48; thank you, bureaucracy), Kyle N. Mortensen of Farmington was arrested at 12:35 AM at 8 Talcott Forest Rd. Mortensen, who might be auditioning for Fast & Deliriously Confused, was charged with:
- Failure to have headlamps
- Failure to drive in proper lane
- Violation of traffic control signals (Ă2 for good measure)
- Traveling unreasonably fast
- Engaging police in pursuit (always a crowd favorite)
- Possession of cannabis plant (<50z, under 21 years old)
Bond was set at a humble $10,000âa small price to pay for a joyride under dim conditions. Mortensen was released after posting bond and presumably returned to watching Fast & Furious 7 on loop.
Meanwhile, just a few hours earlier, Officer Jose R. Santiago was busy performing a legal version of âGroundhog Dayâ over at 319 New Britain Avenue, where Wandaline Rodriguez, 46, of Camden, NJ (currently homeless), was arrested twiceâyes, twiceâin what can only be described as the municipal version of Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V.
Rodriguez was charged both times with Violation of Probation (53a-32), held on a hefty $50,000 bond, and was clearly making her case for a sequel. One record lists her initial arrest. The second? A re-arrest warrant. Because why get arrested once when you can double down?
This leaves us with three arrests, two officers, and one town still wondering how someone gets pulled over for a headlight violation and ends up racking up charges like theyâre playing GTA: Farmington Edition.
đ Reminder: All individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. So please, no trial-by-group-text just yet.
đ§ This Whole Sad Circus Brought to You By: Farmington Storage
Yes, that Farmington Storage. Located at 155 Scott Swamp Road and reachable at 860.777.4001, theyâre the only storage facility in Connecticut with museum-quality airâwhich, frankly, is more than can be said for your uncle’s basement. Whether youâre storing sentimental heirlooms or just a lifetime supply of regrets, Farmington Storage preserves it all in air so pristine, even FabergĂŠ eggs would say, âdamn, thatâs fresh.â
â About the Author
Jack Beckett, Staff Writer at The Farmington Mercury, runs on equal parts caffeine, existential dread, and deep distrust of blinking cursor icons. When not covering arrests, zoning disputes, or local turkey uprisings, heâs knee-deep in a lukewarm coffee mug muttering âjust one more paragraph.â
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đ° We are Farmington. We are slow. We are deeply suspicious of anyone speeding through Talcott Forest.
