Three Arrests, Two Officers, and One Headlamp Short: A Night in Farmingtonās Criminal Underbelly
By Jack Beckett | The Farmington Mercury
Follow us on X | Subscribe to Our Slow News
Farmington, CT ā The quiet charm of Talcott Forest was briefly interrupted just past midnight on March 21, when local authorities reminded a 19-year-old resident that “no headlamps” is not the bold aesthetic choice he mightāve thought.
According to arrest records from the Farmington Police Department (run time: 06:48; thank you, bureaucracy), Kyle N. Mortensen of Farmington was arrested at 12:35 AM at 8 Talcott Forest Rd. Mortensen, who might be auditioning for Fast & Deliriously Confused, was charged with:
- Failure to have headlamps
- Failure to drive in proper lane
- Violation of traffic control signals (Ć2 for good measure)
- Traveling unreasonably fast
- Engaging police in pursuit (always a crowd favorite)
- Possession of cannabis plant (<50z, under 21 years old)
Bond was set at a humble $10,000āa small price to pay for a joyride under dim conditions. Mortensen was released after posting bond and presumably returned to watching Fast & Furious 7 on loop.
Meanwhile, just a few hours earlier, Officer Jose R. Santiago was busy performing a legal version of āGroundhog Dayā over at 319 New Britain Avenue, where Wandaline Rodriguez, 46, of Camden, NJ (currently homeless), was arrested twiceāyes, twiceāin what can only be described as the municipal version of Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V.
Rodriguez was charged both times with Violation of Probation (53a-32), held on a hefty $50,000 bond, and was clearly making her case for a sequel. One record lists her initial arrest. The second? A re-arrest warrant. Because why get arrested once when you can double down?
This leaves us with three arrests, two officers, and one town still wondering how someone gets pulled over for a headlight violation and ends up racking up charges like theyāre playing GTA: Farmington Edition.
š Reminder: All individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. So please, no trial-by-group-text just yet.
š§ This Whole Sad Circus Brought to You By: Farmington Storage
Yes, that Farmington Storage. Located at 155 Scott Swamp Road and reachable at 860.777.4001, theyāre the only storage facility in Connecticut with museum-quality airāwhich, frankly, is more than can be said for your uncle’s basement. Whether youāre storing sentimental heirlooms or just a lifetime supply of regrets, Farmington Storage preserves it all in air so pristine, even FabergĆ© eggs would say, ādamn, thatās fresh.ā
ā About the Author
Jack Beckett, Staff Writer at The Farmington Mercury, runs on equal parts caffeine, existential dread, and deep distrust of blinking cursor icons. When not covering arrests, zoning disputes, or local turkey uprisings, heās knee-deep in a lukewarm coffee mug muttering ājust one more paragraph.ā
For more stories slower than your grandmotherās dial-up and far more informative than your HOA Facebook group, crawl over to:
- Our Editorials
- Who We Are
- Stuff for Sale (Probably Haunted)
- Election 2024 Coverage
- Law Enforcement Reports
- Historic District Weirdness
- Wetlands Committee (Yes, It’s Real)
- High School Drama (Not the Musical)
- Zoning Debates, aka Adult Nap Time
- Board of Education Fights
- Local Jobs, Kind Of
- Contact Us (If You Must)
- Subscribe to the Newsletter
š³ļø Stay Informed with The Farmington Mercury
Donāt miss a single ballot box or bizarre town council decision. Follow all of our Election 2024 coverage here and subscribe to our newsletter for exclusive interviews, real estate oddities, and news so slow it’s basically vintage.
š° We are Farmington. We are slow. We are deeply suspicious of anyone speeding through Talcott Forest.
