Area Home Enthusiastically Attempts to Justify Its Price, Demands $975,000 for Themselves and a Barn Roommate.
FARMINGTON, CT — In what can only be described as a charming exercise in wishful thinking, a 3,598 sq. ft. Colonial at 16 Main Street, has officially hit the market at a jaw-dropping $975,000. This idyllic three-bedroom, two-and-a-half-bathroom “Historic Residence” (read: 1770) sits on 0.51 acres and comes with both “spacious” rooms and a bonus feature — a tenant! Yes, number 14 Main Street, a barn-turned-garage, also offers an attached apartment, currently rented by someone who, depending on your negotiation skills, may or may not still be living there when you move in.
For those curious about the property’s tax credentials, 16 Main St. provides the unique opportunity to pay $11,469 in annual property taxes. Over the years, the house has adjusted its tax rate with the dedication of a slow-cooking stew, nudging its way up yearly as it was reassessed to a respectable $450,660 in value. In perspective, in 1987, this Colonial gem was sold for $445,000, or a quaint $124 per square foot. Fast forward to today, where you’ll be charged a princely $271 per square foot, a figure that proudly includes the centuries-old air of mystery that inevitably comes with owning a 250-year-old home.
Inside, this stately home boasts a jaw-dropping five fireplaces — if the 18th century got one thing right, you’d never regret having too many places to make fire. Scattered across the spacious rooms (because, again, history), these fireplaces create an ambiance that begs the question: How many fireplaces are too many? (The answer remains unknown, but this house certainly isn’t shy about trying to find out.)
The interior delivers on all fronts with hardwood floors, bay windows, built-in features, and a kitchen complete with granite countertops and, yes, laminate flooring — a modern nod to the ever-practical world of functional surfaces. The study, naturally, is perfect for those quiet moments of reflection when you ask yourself, “Did I just spend almost a million dollars on a 250-year-old house?” But fear not — the sunroom’s ceiling fans and sliders will gently whisk away your doubts as they circulate the humid New England summer air. And if that’s not enough space for you, there’s always the attic. It’s accessed via hatch, which just adds to the overall “this could be an escape room” vibe of the place.
Outside, the clapboard exterior adds a touch of old-world charm, while the roof is listed as “Other,” which we can only assume means “surprise.” The property’s off-street parking fits four cars comfortably — just enough for when your friends visit to help you figure out what, exactly, they would do with the barn apartment and its potential rental income of up to $1,200 a month. (We’re sure your mortgage lender will love that.)
Speaking of mortgages, Zillow has kindly calculated your monthly payment to be around $6,823, assuming you don’t black out halfway through the pre-qualification process. And, in case you were wondering, the property has earned 29 views and 2 saves on Zillow in the first 24 minutes its posting went live. Clearly, you’re not the only one captivated by the idea of inheriting 18th-century fireplaces, historic charm, and an inconvenient conversation with a barn tenant.
For those looking to escape their current home and take on this piece of Farmington history, don’t delay. The clock is ticking, and while Zillow hasn’t been able to properly Zestimate® this one, one thing’s for sure: it’s listed at nearly a million dollars, and those fireplaces aren’t going to warm themselves.
Lastly, a big thank you to our sponsor, Farmington Storage, located at 155 Scott Swamp Road, for making this enlightening real estate journey possible. If you’re looking for a place to store your stuff while you contemplate buying 16 Main St., give them a call at 860-777-4001.
-JB-
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