Farmington’s Least Wanted: Single Arrest Sends Shockwaves Through Exactly One Street
In a development that rattled the community-or at least mildly irritated a few neighbors-the Farmington Police Department reported exactly one arrest from April 18 to April 21, 2025. This groundbreaking crime spree took place at the notoriously quiet and mildly interesting 2 Fernwood Lane, where Heaven Secret Flores briefly became more famous than most TikTok influencers.
The harrowing incident occurred at precisely 8:47 PM on Sunday, April 20. Flores, a 20-year-old resident of Farmington, was charged with disorderly conduct and risk of injury to a child. Details are sparse, but sources indicate this was “Domestic Violence related,” a phrase usually reserved for reality TV reruns and not Farmington’s otherwise peaceful neighborhoods.
Flores, perhaps inspired by the dramatic aura of her middle name, posted her $2,500 nonsurety bond and was promptly released, set to make a glamorous appearance in court on April 21.
As always, The Farmington Mercury reminds its readers—and the gossip-prone neighbors lurking nearby—that all parties are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Or at least until convicted in the court of Nextdoor comments.
This exciting crime wave has been brought to you by our friends at Farmington Storage, conveniently located at 155 Scott Swamp Road. It’s the only facility in Connecticut boasting “museum air,” perfect for storing your valuables or, apparently, your very small collection of local criminal records. Call them today at 860.777.4001 and tell them The Mercury sent you—though maybe don’t lead with the arrest story.
Stay caffeinated, Farmington,
Jack Beckett
Resident caffeine connoisseur and reluctant chronicler of Farmington’s least interesting crimes
🌟 Explore All Things Farmington! 🌟
🔹 The Farmington Mercury – Your essential guide to town happenings. 🔹 Editorials | Law Enforcement Updates | Homes For Sale 🔹 Local Governance: Historic District Commission | Wetlands Committee 🔹 Education & Community: Farmington High School | Job Listings 🔹 Stay Politically Savvy: Election 2024 Coverage 🔹 Connect with Us: Follow on X | Subscribe | Contact Us
