Area Family Discovers 3,942 Square Feet of Sublime Domestic Bliss for $845,000, Immediately Starts Bragging Rights in the Neighborhood
FARMINGTON, CT — In a move that will surely incite envy among neighborhood gatherings and PTA meetings, a new listing at 35 Forest Hills Dr in Farmington has emerged as the ultimate suburban fantasy. Nestled within the tranquil embrace of a 0.72-acre lot, this 3,942-square-foot Colonial home is as subtle as a sledgehammer in the world of dream properties.
From the outside, it’s the kind of house that practically screams, “Yes, my life is more put together than yours,” complete with its immaculate clapboard siding and picture-perfect curb appeal. But wait until you step inside—because that’s where the magic (and maybe some smugness) happens.
Upon entry, you’re immediately greeted by a light-filled 2-story foyer practically begging for a grand piano and perhaps a few well-placed heirlooms. The interior design has been thoughtfully executed with the kind of trendy color palette that will make your Instagram followers jealous and leave them wondering just how you managed to pull it all together.
The living room and dining room are ideal for hosting parties you don’t want to attend but feel obligated to throw because you now own a house that demands it. They boast gorgeous cherry hardwood floors, a feature that says, “Yes, I am aware of things like interior design trends and superior wood craftsmanship.”
But the real pièce de résistance is the expansive family room. With a fireplace just waiting to become the subject of your next holiday card and French doors that open to a westerly view, it’s the ideal spot to casually sip coffee while silently judging the inferior homes of your less fortunate neighbors.
And what’s a dream home without a dream kitchen? This one comes with granite countertops, abundant cabinetry, and enough space to gather with friends and family as they marvel at how you manage to keep everything so spotless. There’s even a breakfast area for those mornings when you want to gaze out at your pristine backyard and think, “Wow, I did make it.”
Upstairs, the primary suite offers a lovely dual vanity bath and a large walk-in closet—perfect for those moments when you need to escape from the reality that life outside your perfect home isn’t quite as immaculate. The en-suite whirlpool tub is an added touch of luxury, ideal for soaking away the stress of maintaining your newfound superiority.
The partially finished lower-level walkout, featuring a second fireplace, is the ultimate flex. Whether you use it to host overnight guests, set up a teen retreat, or turn it into an in-law suite, one thing’s for sure: it’ll make you look even more accommodating and thoughtful than you already are. The generous 594 additional square feet are an opportunity to be even more impressive.
As for taxes, let’s say the annual $10,632 fee is a small price for telling people your house has an assessed value of $417,760. And sure, that might have increased by 32.5% recently, but isn’t that just another feather in the cap of your already impressive financial portfolio?
So, if you’re ready to make all your friends, family, and casual acquaintances feel just a bit worse about their own life choices, 35 Forest Hills Dr is waiting for you. But act fast—homes like this don’t linger on the market for long, especially when only 36 people in the world have saved this listing on Zillow and are eagerly waiting to make you feel insecure.
And a big thank you to Farmington Storage, conveniently located at 155 Scott Swamp Road, for sponsoring this public service announcement on why you should immediately buy this house. Need somewhere to store all the extra things that no longer fit in your life of perfection? Give them a call at 860.777.4001. Because let’s face it, you’ll need somewhere to keep everything that doesn’t quite make the cut in your fabulous new life.
Welcome to your dream home—and your new favorite pastime of making everyone else wish they were you.
-JB-
Stay Informed with The Farmington Mercury
Don’t miss a beat this election season! Follow our Election 2024 coverage here and stay up-to-date with the latest news, insights, and analysis.
Want more in-depth stories delivered straight to your inbox? Subscribe to our weekly newsletter for exclusive content, interviews, and updates.
Stay informed. Stay engaged. Stay connected with The Farmington Mercury.
