LOCAL HOME GOES ON SALE, PROMISES FULFILLMENT OF ALL YOUR SUBURBAN DREAMS—FOR A MERE $629,000
Farmington, CT—If you’ve been desperately yearning to exchange your hard-earned dollars for a sturdy slice of suburban bliss, look no further! Nestled in the heart of Unionville’s illustrious Farmington West Estates, 16 Cobble Court is now on the market for the reasonable, unsoul-crushing price of $629,000. Yes, that’s right, folks—only $629K for your chance to live the good life in a 2,733-square-foot Colonial that will undoubtedly make you the envy of your friends who are still renting apartments with walls thin enough to hear the neighbors breathe.
A Glorious Tribute to 2007
Built in 2007, this architectural marvel—crafted when flip phones were the height of technology—has somehow maintained its charm, with vinyl siding as fresh as the day it was installed. The exterior is as dependable as that old Nokia you still have in a drawer, and the interior is pure 2007 elegance. Boasting three generously sized bedrooms and two and a half baths, this home has all the space you need to stretch out and revel in your financial decision-making prowess.
Open Floor Plan That Screams “Look at Me!”
You can go inside to find a well-lit open floor plan to show off at your next gathering. The living room features a gas fireplace, perfect for setting a cozy ambiance without chopping wood. Who has time for that? Large windows flood the space with natural light, ensuring that your future Instagram photos will be on point, while the hardwood flooring throughout adds a touch of class that says, “Yes, I’m an adult with my life together.”
Kitchen Fit for a Home Chef (Or Someone Who Likes Ordering In)
The kitchen, complete with granite countertops, cherry cabinetry, and stainless-steel appliances, is perfect for cooking a gourmet meal or, more realistically, reheating takeout from your favorite local spots. And when you’re done dining in style, slide open the doors to the deck and enjoy the fresh Connecticut air—a feature that will make you feel like you’re living in a vacation home, even though you’ll still have to go to work on Monday.
Basement: Not Just for Storage
Downstairs, you’ll find a large finished basement ideal for entertaining, setting up a home gym you rarely use, or stashing those relatives who “just need a place to stay for a couple of weeks.” The possibilities are endless!
Taxes: Because Owning a Home Means Paying Your Dues
Now, let’s talk numbers. This beauty is listed at $629,000, which is a steal in today’s market—or at least that’s what your real estate agent will tell you. In 2008, this home sold for $417,000, so someone is making a tidy profit here. The annual tax bill comes in at a modest $8,384, a slight decrease from last year’s $8,865. But let’s not quibble over a few hundred dollars—after all, you’re buying a dream, not just a house.
And with a $165 monthly HOA fee, you can rest easy knowing that your lawn will always be perfectly manicured and your driveway snow-free, all without lifting a finger. Isn’t that worth every penny?
A Brief History of Appreciation
Over the years, 16 Cobble Court has appreciated faster than your favorite stock pick in a bull market. Its value has skyrocketed by 71% in the last nine years so that you can feel good about your investment—assuming the market doesn’t do anything crazy, like, you know, crash.
Thank You, Farmington Storage!
Before you head off to schedule your private tour (today at 4:30 PM sounds good, right?), we’d like to extend a heartfelt thank you to our sponsor, Farmington Storage. When you finally buy this house and realize you have more stuff than space, Farmington Storage at 155 Scott Swamp Road will be there to keep your extra belongings safe and sound. Give them a call at 860.777.4001—tell them The Farmington Mercury sent you!
So there you have it, folks. 16 Cobble Court: where your dreams of homeownership meet reality, and you’re only one mortgage away from making it all yours. Act fast—because if you don’t, someone else will, and then you’ll be stuck scrolling Zillow at 2 AM, wondering where it all went wrong.
-JB-
