A Crime Wave Fit for a Kiddie Pool
Farmington’s police blotter finally coughed up a single, polite arrest this week, sparing our slow‑news souls from total boredom. According to the Farmington Police Department’s youth‑redacted arrest log , William Cruzado, 46, of Lakeland, Florida, was arrested June 21 at 12:50 p.m. outside 500 South Road. Officers (one of them identified in paperwork as Nicholas R. Marozzi) say the Sunshine State visitor allegedly upgraded a routine shopping trip into a “shopping‑leaving‑without‑paying” experience.
Charges: Two‑for‑One Special
| Statute | Description | Bond | Court Date |
|---|---|---|---|
| 53a‑107 | Criminal Trespass 1st Degree | None | 07/01/2025 |
| 53a‑125b | Larceny 6th Degree | $1,500 (Non‑surety) | 07/01/2025 |
Police note the incident involved “shoplifting” merchandise of such modest value that even the alleged thief reportedly asked, “Really, that’s sixth degree?” before posting bond and heading back to contemplate his life choices.
Innocent Until Proven Guilty, Folks ☕️
Please remember: all defendants are presumed innocent until a court rules otherwise. If Mr. Cruzado is ultimately found not guilty, we’ll dutifully update this story—just as soon as we’re done being “Always last to breaking news.”
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About the Author
Jack Beckett writes while double‑fisting an Einstein Bros. Ballantyne hazelnut coffee and a “I‑swear‑it’s‑journalism” bagel. When not chronicling the slow‑drip drama of Farmington, he moonlights at The Charlotte Mercury—because someone has to.
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Creative Commons License
© 2025 The Farmington Mercury / Mercury Local
This article, “Only Arrest in Farmington This Week: Florida Man Allegedly Shoplifts, Town’s Blood Pressure Unchanged 😂,” by Jack Beckett is licensed under CC BY‑ND 4.0.
“Only Arrest in Farmington This Week: Florida Man Allegedly Shoplifts, Town’s Blood Pressure Unchanged 😂”
by Jack Beckett, The Farmington Mercury (CC BY‑ND 4.0)
