Zoning Board Meeting Cancelled: Will Farmington Ever Rezone Again?
In a shocking turn of events that left exactly zero jaws dropping, the Farmington Zoning Board of Appeals has announced the cancellation of its July 15, 2024, meeting. Residents and local zoning enthusiasts will now have to wait until September 16, 2024, to experience the thrill of zoning discussions and land-use deliberations.
Why the Cancellation? The official notice is as silent on the reason for the cancellation as a mime in a library. Was it an urgent need to recharge the town’s supply of boring meeting topics? Perhaps an unexpected zoning crisis involving an unmovable gazebo? Or maybe the board members just wanted a summer break to catch up on their riveting zoning regulation manuals.
Speculation on the Streets
- Alien Abduction: Rumor has it that the entire board has been abducted by aliens who are desperate for zoning advice for their intergalactic colonies.
- Secret Beach Retreat: Others whisper about a clandestine beach retreat where board members practice drawing straight lines in the sand.
- Out of Staples: A credible source suggests that the town hall ran out of staples, making it impossible to attach agendas to the bulletin board.
What’s Next for Zoning Fans? Fear not, zoning aficionados! The next meeting is set for September 16, 2024. Mark your calendars and prepare your notepads for a thrilling night in the Council Chambers at Town Hall. Will there be new zones? Will someone finally address the controversial height of garden gnomes? Only time will tell.
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