As the calendar flips through 2024, the Farmington Historic District Commission (HDC) has been busier than a squirrel in autumn. With a flurry of meetings, public hearings, and some mild technical difficulties that would make a tech support agent cringe, here’s a comprehensive look at the whirlwind of decisions and hilarity that has ensued.
Meetings and Roll Calls: More Formal Than a Royal Wedding
The commission’s meetings have become a staple of Farmington’s bureaucratic theater. Town Planner Shannon Rutherford kicks things off with roll calls that could rival an Oscar ceremony. The who’s who includes stalwarts like Joanne Lawson, Jim Calciano, Michelle Fallon, Jay Bambara, and a rotating cast of alternates who sometimes make surprise entrances mid-meeting due to traffic – it’s like Farmington’s own version of musical chairs.
“I’ll start with a roll call of the commission members. Joanne Lawson. Here. Jim Calciano. Here. Boof Mix. Here. Michelle Fallon. Here. Jay Bambara. Here. Liz Gemsky. Here. Ted Sanford. Here.” – Shannon Rutherford
Public Hearings: Drama, Decisions, and Deferrals
The heart of the HDC’s activity lies in the public hearings. This year, they’ve tackled everything from window replacements to HVAC installations, each with its own unique twist.
- Window Wars at 96 Main Street: Renewal by Anderson’s application to replace windows sparked a spirited debate that required not one, but two meetings to resolve. Commissioner Jim Calciano took a personal field trip to inspect similar windows, discovering a rogue installation with unauthorized grills. Cue a potential investigation as thrilling as a crime novel – if crime novels featured architectural anachronisms.
“I looked at two of them. And the one that I was familiar with was the one on Hatter’s Lane. And as I recall, we approved that bow window in front. And it is not what we approved. I don’t know if we can go back and look because the grills are in between the glass. We never would have approved that.” – Jim Calciano
The commission eventually approved the application with the stipulation that the windows have no interior grills, ensuring that historical accuracy was maintained.
“I make a motion that we approve a temporary certificate of appropriateness to replace windows at 96 Main Street as proposed at the public hearing of June 18th.” – Jay Bambara
- Cooling Conundrums at 15 Main Street: Matthew Kleber’s quest to install heat pumps involved a detailed discussion about the strategic placement of air conditioning units and the aesthetics of condenser lines. The solution? Hide those unsightly units behind some tasteful shrubbery because even HVAC systems need to look historically accurate in Farmington.
“So what happened is a young lady was shopping at Vivid Hue and maybe didn’t use the brake or gas pedal properly. And just you can see, yes, exactly. It wasn’t a big hit, but it was enough to crack the window kind of diagonally from lower left up to upper right.” – Patrick Downend
“From the street, I would be shocked if you could discern the difference between what’s there now and the new window.” – Joanne Lawson
“No questions, looks good to me. Thanks for adding the shrubs.” – Liz Gemsky
- Historic Cupola Capers at Miss Porter’s School: Miss Porter’s School presented a straightforward request to replace rotting cupola railings with durable PVC replicas. The commission approved the application with a collective sigh of relief, knowing Farmington’s skyline would remain charmingly unchanged.
“After reviewing it, we realized that there’s quite very extensive rot at the top of it. It’s not safe as it currently is.” – Jackie Murray
“I just want to confirm who’s… So Cliff is now voting as a full member? Yes, thank you, Mr. Chairman. That’s fine.” – Michelle Fallon
Technical Glitches: The Comedy of Errors
No HDC meeting would be complete without a few technical hiccups. The Bianca Signs Plus LLC application to replace a sign at 771 Farmington Avenue turned into a farcical game of “Can You Hear Me Now?” as the applicant struggled to unmute. The issue was finally resolved with a rescheduled hearing, ensuring the sign drama continues for another day.
“Steven, you should be able to toggle your own microphone and camera to address the Commission regarding the application. I can see him logged in, Mr. Chair, but there’s no audio.” – Shannon Rutherford
Enforcement Mysteries: The Case of the Unauthorized Bay Window
A routine check revealed that the replacement windows at a certain Hatter’s Lane address did not match the commission’s approval. Was it an oversight or a covert operation by a rogue builder? The commission decided to investigate, turning HDC meetings into a suspense thriller with spreadsheets and site visits.
“When we went and got a bid on it, we found out how outrageously expensive for some reason the ornamental, the heavy gauge aluminum was. Even though it’s a great material and I’ve used the fence before, but we decided because it’s even, it’s cheaper to go for eight foot sections instead of the six and to get the eight foot section, we had to go to the three rail thing and they don’t make the three rail on the aluminum.” – Biff Schuckinger
Thanking Our Sponsors: Farmington Storage
Before we sign off, a big thank you to Farmington Storage, located at 155 Scott Swamp Road. When the HDC meetings run long and your historical documents need a safe place, Farmington Storage has you covered. Call them at 860.777.4001 – because even old meeting minutes deserve proper preservation.
Looking Ahead: More Meetings, More Drama
As we move into the latter half of 2024, one thing is certain: the Farmington Historic District Commission will continue its tireless work preserving the town’s character, one window, one cupola, and one HVAC unit at a time. Stay tuned for more updates, more hilarity, and perhaps, a few more technical snafus.
Remember to check back for the next thrilling installment of “As the HDC Turns,” brought to you by Farmington Storage.
