Always last … to breaking news, but first in line for the popcorn.
The Alleged DUI Grand-Prix (Stephen T. Baker)
On May 25 at 18:14, Simsbury’s own Stephen T. Baker, 34, allegedly converted the intersection of Cedar Lane and West Avon Road into a live-action driving simulator featuring:
- Failure to keep right
- Improper lane change
- Improper turn/no signal
- Operating without a license
- Reckless driving
- $2,500-bond DUI
- Evading responsibility
If the charges read like someone mashing buttons on a DMV quiz, that’s because police say Baker collected them all in one dizzying lap. He posted bond and will attempt a sober victory lap on June 3 at Superior Court.
The Quadruple-Warrant Encore (Zachary Michael Collins)
Roughly 24 hours earlier, Farmington officers responded to 319 New Britain Ave., where Hartford resident Zachary Michael Collins, 29, allegedly punched his own loyalty card to the judicial system:
| Charge | Bond | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Burglary 3rd Degree | $5,000 | Original warrant |
| Failure to Appear 1st Degree | $40,000 | Re-arrest warrant |
| Failure to Appear 2nd Degree | $15,000 | Re-arrest warrant |
| Failure to Appear 2nd Degree | $3,000 | Another re-arrest warrant |
Total tally: four warrants, one evening, and a courtroom cameo set for May 27. Collins remained in custody because you can’t fail to appear if you never leave.
Presumption of Innocence 📜
All individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in court. Our snark is legally inadmissible—trust us, we checked.
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About the Author ☕
Jack Beckett survives on black coffee strong enough to void traffic citations on scent alone. When not cataloging Farmington’s finest misadventures, he’s busy rummaging through WeAreFarmington.com’s treasure trove of hyper-local delights: politics, zoning drama, historic-district squabbles, wetlands showdowns, high-school hijinks, and classifieds that are 40% lost cats, 60% existential dread. Dive in:
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This article, “Farmington Arrest Round-Up: PD Nets Alleged ‘Fast & Furious’ Soloist and the Human Boomerang of Court Dates,” by Jack Beckett is licensed under CC BY-ND 4.0.
“Farmington Arrest Round-Up: PD Nets Alleged ‘Fast & Furious’ Soloist and the Human Boomerang of Court Dates”
by Jack Beckett, The Farmington Mercury (CC BY-ND 4.0)
